Day of Mourning 2015

Today is a very solemn day in the Disability Community, a day that we have set aside to mourn our collective dead murdered at the hands of parents and other caregivers.  

Today is our 4th annual Day of Mourning organized by the Autistic Self-Advocacy Network, ADAPT, Not Dead Yet, and the National Council on Independent Living to remember people with disabilities who have lost their lives at the hands of their family members or caregivers. Join us to remember those we have lost, and remind the world that their lives had value...  

There are in-person vigils being held all across the U.S., in Canada, and abroad, but there is also a virtual one that you can join anywhere you are.

The chatroom opened at 3:00 pm EST, March 1, 2015. The live video broadcast began at 3:00 pm. Both will run until 7:00 pm EST or until we are done.:
https://sites.google.com/site/dayofmourning2015virtualvigil/home/virtual-vigil 

Final thoughts for 2013.

On this the last day of 2013 thoughts usually turn to tasks not accomplished and new memories made.  Instead of bringing those to mind I wish to instead bring to your thoughts and therefore minds to the fact that more Autistics, children and adults, were murdered at the hands of their caregivers and parents this year.  A number of Autistic bloggers and allies have listed them already, I have mentioned a few over the course of the year, I shan’t do that now, if you wish to learn the victims’ names and personally memorialize them in your own way, you need only do a web search and they will appear.  I hope that by bringing this topic to the foreground that you will make a pledge to work even harder in 2014 toward the goal of Autism Acceptance so that atrocities such as these and numerous others perpetrated on the Autistic Community do not continue in the next year, that 2013 is the last year that innocent Autistics will die at the hands of those who were meant to protect them. 

 

 

My hope is that those of you who are still searching for how to “fix” or “cure” your Autistic selves or your Autistic loved ones will turn away from finding “fixes” and “cures” for Autistic differences and instead embrace them as a natural part of the human fabric, in time we as a society and as a world will truly welcome Autistics.  We do not need to search from without for change, what is needed is a search within ourselves, this will lead to a place of Acceptance that we can share with those around us, no Autistic will then be set apart living out their lives in institutions, afraid to be their true Autistic selves for fear of reprisals, etc., etc.  To make a future world where the rocking or hand-flapping of an Autistic adult won’t seem out of place or odd, but rather common place, where Autistic adults will not be seen as crazy or as a nuisance but as a contributing part of society, whether we be verbal or nonverbal, but to instead be given a chance to express ourselves in any way that works for us and not be made to conform to any outward standard.  We are not burdens, we are not “broken” or “damaged”, for good or ill we are just what we are meant to be and our community is growing bigger every day and that is exciting!  To know that I am not alone, but instead part of a greater community is a terrific feeling!

 

 

We as a society need to work together in order for there to be Acceptance of Autistics of all ages, not just one group or one person can make this come about; instead we must work together toward this common goal.  This is an important and great goal. 

Make 2014 the year that you in your own part of the world, your country, your neighborhood, or even within your family or group of friends make the Acceptance of Autistics a top priority and a pledge to not support groups, people, etc. who do not support Autistics.  The phrase “If you have met one Autistic, you have met one Autistic” comes to mind, we are all unique and all have something to offer to the world from a brilliant discovery to a smile, we just need to be given the chance to do it.
 

Make 2014 the year for Acceptance!

Best wishes for a Happy and Healthy 2014 

from the Autism Acceptance Digest.

 

Up from the ashes

Today we in the United States mourn the deaths of thousands of innocent people murdered at the hands of a small number of desperate terrorists on September 11, 2001.

I too lost someone that fateful morning, she died in the Pentagon.  She was my psychologist Dr. Norma Lang Steuerle.  We had a regular weekly appointment for 8 years.  Dr. Steuerle was on the plane that crashed into the Pentagon; a little over a mile from where I live I heard the explosions. She was flying to Okinawa, Japan to visit her daughter Kristin a naval doctor who was stationed there. Since her death, I have connected with no other psychologist or psychiatrist as I did with her, as most Autistics are I too am not good with change.

 

For all of victims, of the September 11, 2001, both living and dead,

especially Dr. Steuerle and her family.

 

Instead of dwelling on her loss today I will instead celebrate her life through the life I have now.  I am a proud Autistic woman, even though she had not fully pieced it all together back then (was formally diagnosed on the Spectrum in March of 2009), she would be very proud of who I have become today.  She helped me to believe more in myself.  I now have a handful of friends.  Christmas-time, in fact the whole month of December, is still an exciting time for me, from the carols to the twinkling lights to warm cracking fires and so is the month of my birth.  As anyone who knows me, knows these two times of year are when I get the most excited out of all others.  Dr.  Steuerle knew this as well, so the week of my birthday each year we instead had our weekly appointment at McDonald’s, a celebratory lunch.  I may not work very often, but when I do it is purposeful and enjoyable, plus it is always nice to earn money.  I serve on two boards, one that is a general disability-related one and the other that is all about Autism and have been invited to join a national advisory committee for an Autism organization.  I organize a group for my fellow Autistic adults locally, etc.  I am generally a happy person with a smile naturally at home on my face.  My smile infects others, not my Autism (Autism as you know is not contagious!), and have seen its effects first-hand on the subway and walking down the streets near where I live.  One simple smile shared with a stranger can brighten their day as it has mine on many an occasion when I have received one. 

Published September 11, 2013 on Google+

Senseless murder

I do not know if you have heard, but there was an awful tragedy last week, one of our community was murdered.

George Hodgins was an Autistic man living in California, he had a passion for hiking, etc., his mother killed him and then she committed suicide. It is never OK to kill disabled people no matter what your excuse may be, we are all unique and deserve respect, we are not expendable. We are different, NOT less. This case really resonated with me because I am Autistic. I felt that I needed to draw your attention to his death and add my “voice” to the ether so that George’s death would not be forgotten and hopefully by sharing the following blog entry and my feelings, that tragedies like this will cease to occur. This is yet another reason why we need to work for Autism Acceptance in our communities that is the only way that we Autistics will be accepted as we truly are.

Below, I have chosen to highlight the blog of an Autistic self-advocate named Zoe. I am including her post about George Hodgins’ murder and the candlelight vigil that was held in his honor, there was a news segment included therein, but I was unable to copy that across to this site, in order to watch the news segment please click on the following link.

http://illusionofcompetence.blogspot.com/2012/03/remembering-george-hodgins.html

"Saturday, March 17, 2012
Remembering George Hodgins

This is what went on the news:

(News segment of the vigil, sorry, but I could not get it to paste here, you can watch it on Zoe's blog at the link listed above.)

This is what I said at the vigil:

Last Tuesday, George Hodgins was shot and killed by his mother, who then killed herself. George lived here in Sunnyvale and he was 22 years old. I didn’t know George, but I can’t stop thinking about him. Maybe it’s because we have a lot in common – we lived near each other, we were the same age, we’re both autistic, although we led very different lives. I would like to have met George, but I can only mourn him. And I can try to make sure that his story isn’t forgotten.

In the wake of this tragedy, I read a lot of articles that asked the readers to imagine how George’s mother must have felt. But I didn’t see a single article that asked the reader to empathize for George, to imagine how it feels to see your mother point a gun at you. I’ve seen a lot of people talking about how hard it must be to live with an autistic relative, but I didn’t see anyone talking about how terrible it must be to die knowing that your parent, who you love and depend on, has decided to hurt and kill you.

Because he was autistic, George is being erased from the story of his own murder.

The story of George Hodgins’ death is being discussed and presented as the story of a mother who snapped, and the story of other parents who have felt the same way. It’s being told as a story about a lack of services for families with special-needs children, as though a lack of services is a justification for murder.

When disabled people are murdered by their families, this is the story people want to hear. It’s the same story that we saw in newspapers after Katie McCarron was murdered, and after Jeremy Fraser was murdered, and after Glen Freaney was murdered, and after Zain and Faryaal Akhter were murdered. The story goes like this: it is understandable that someone would kill their disabled relative if they don’t get help to care for them.

I don’t think this is a true story.

Why is the story being told this way? Because we live in a world that doesn’t acknowledge the value of our lives as disabled people. Because so many people in our society can’t imagine a disabled person living a fulfilling life, so they don’t see the tragedy and the wasted potential when one of our lives is cut short.

As disabled people, we have to take a stand against this kind of thinking. We have to get the word out that our lives matter, that our lives are our own stories and not just the stories of our non-disabled parents and relatives and caretakers. We have to let people know that they are missing part of the story.

Because the story of George Hodgins’ murder is also the story of the disabled community losing one of our own. It’s the story of the other disabled people who were murdered by their family members, and it’s the story of the society that thinks so little of people with disabilities that these murders are all too often justified as 'understandable.' Most of all, it’s George’s story – the story of a young man who enjoyed hiking, who was always looking to learn new skills, who had his whole life in front of him.

Now George is gone, and only his memory remains, and already that memory is being distorted by people who want to tell his story and leave him out. That’s not going to happen tonight. We’re here to remember the real story."

Published March 18, 2012 on Google+